dear god,

I wish that the happiness of others will always be enough to outweigh all miseries of my own life.

Your long lost friend,
Taylor.


Amen.

momentum.

ofcourse.


once again im there.


the days looking overcast.

i should learn to take my own advice.


Update: i cant feel my foot. my room smells like alcohol and rusting iron.
i think it gives it character

curbside prophet

In a very dispondent mood right now
or maybe its the result of a philosophical break through.
or maybe im just over caffienated

everything i write makes no sense and is completely out of context
but some how speaks more truth than a modern day bible for outsiders.

seperate we stand, united we fall

been counting to infinity since the day i was born,
feels like i get closer everyday.

we are starting to realize that we are alone alot sooner.
it usually doesnt hit us till we are out on our own
trying to live our lives.
what does this mean?
if every life experience is happening to us sooner,
does that mean our lives are cut shorter?
is that why we are stuck searching everday, every minute?
because if we dont find it fast enough,
we never will?


whatever.


my head has the flu,
and its vomiting up words.

my secret:

i fear the loss of my imagination.

epiphany

all this time i had always found you very annoying
but i look at you now and i see we are very much alike


but there is one major difference,

the eclipse never passed over me,
i once dreamed that it would but it never did
when all you have is clouds you wish for the moon

but now i have the sun
making the clouds fade away and warming my cheeks
and i see that the moon was never meant for me
and ive never been more okay with that

oh mr. magazine

don't you wish you could just go back in time?
where things meant more, but seemed to mean less
when the sun seemed to shine brighter and more frequent
and the rain filled our heads with dreams instead of gloom.

a girl cries out she is sick of her world, wishing for peace to clear her troubled thoughts.

a boy cries out for humanity
to be better, to do better
to break free from this generation of commercial beauty, sex, drugs, and alcohol
to prove we can do more, be more, than what we are expected of.

oh Mr. Magazine,
tell me how to be
show me the life i need to live to be human.

monsterr.

the craziest thing happened to me today

so i was really hyper and really bored,
and decided to calm myself by taking a walk down the street to the library
while i was in the library, turning threw pages of chuck palahniuk
i noticed that this one guy who looked quite similar to a young flava flav, was following me
keeping his distance but staying in a close area
it didnt exactly bother me, it was more annoying than anything since i slightly wanted to be alone
but i decided to leave and grab an avalanche

while i was walking out, i got the strange tingle on the back of my neck that you get when you feel someones watching you
as i turned around, i saw that he was still following me
i quickened my pace and decided to ditch the coffee idea
i glanced back a few times, and like i thought he was still there
i called my mom as i walked, so i would have some kind of witness if anything did happen
then as soon as i turned the corner past the church, i hauled ass
never looking back till i was safely inside, door locked.

needless to say, i was very scared.
the funny thing about this (in a weird, twisted, scary way)
is as i was walking to the library to begin with, i noticed it was unusually quiet
you know how in horror movies, before something bad happens, it gets really quiet
and there is usually some kind of noise or song that warns you of whats gonna happen next?
while i was turning the corner, a cell phone started to ring
not a single sound except the soft echo of a verizon jingle

coincidence?

just listen.

it seems when you lack something, you make up for it in something else.

i suck at talking, but apparently i rock at listening.
and that makes me happy
because sometimes thats all you need
whether its to let your heart out without interruption or to hear a friendly voice



too bad i suck at talking


edit: that was fucking weird.

ever feel like jumping?

i have.

in a seemingly charmed life, its hard to believe that such pain can exist.
maybe because we are trained to always be happy,
paint on our smiles and put on the show

paint me with a tear.

i live today as if its my last, because i have lived too long in my past.
nightmares still lurk around my mind, awaking me with wounds that will never heal
though the evidence is long gone. who would ever know?

i reach for a future that is unclear.
the foundation crumbles beneath my feet as i climb to reach my purpose.
the truth i am denying.
i live for today, because i have no faith.

you talk to me like you know me
but do you?
dear perfect stranger,
when you look in the mirror what do you see?
tell me what you see is real, because all i see is a reflection.
a reflection will never tell you what you want,
just what is already there.

we are mended from pieces of shattered glass.
they didnt lie when they said we are made in gods image


so tell me,
who made you?

about a girl

today shall be the beginning of my blogging days.
though ive tried many times, i think its time i keep one
i find its so much easier to get out my thoughts while typing
but either by the pen or by the keyboard the words never come out right.

ill try to post alittle something everyday, but it just depends on my schedule
i am a real person, i do have a life.

this is just my introduction,
ill start the real stuff tomorrow.
or maybe tonight


we'll see.

have a lovely thursday!